Full Size Binoculars

Help me to paint with words please.?

Thanx for looking.
I recently got an assignment to write an observing essay for my English course. Mine is about a bird. Please tell me if the intro is catchy Please

In a room with dimmed lights and large tinted windows I found a pair of binoculars, a row of benches and number of plaques with pictures. An odor of freshly opened bag of potatoe chips was filling the room as a little girl enjoyed her snack. Surprised and full of desire to tell others the girl said “Look, look mommy a bird” as she was looking outside through the window of the bird watching room. Outside, among standing tall green mature trees on a small grassy area, nearly twice the size of normal living room, in a nice calm weather birds she saw bird picking on fresh meal of their favorite seeds. Two waterfalls and three bird feeders make a heavenly environment for all creatures that enjoy fresh sip of water and a meal.

What were the pictures on the wall of? If not relevent, why mention them? I like the line about the potatoe chip odor. I think standing tall green mature trees is a bit too much, a little redundant, and too obvious. Of course the trees are standing and you expect them to be green. Maybe: Outside, the trees were tall and lush in their maturity. Not the best line, but better I think. A "small" grassy area wouldn't be twice the size of a normal living room would it? That whole sentence is too long and doesn't quite make sense. Maybe it should be seperated into two sentences. After the above sentence maybe: Their long limbs made a canopy for the birds to sit under and enjoy their favorite seeds.
Overall, it's okay, but it doesn't really make me see everything. I can see the girl when I read it, but not the beautiful outdoors, and not the birds. It needs a little tweaking ,and yes it needs something about how the birds look.

Good Luck!




10x50 Powerful Full Size Binoculars BAK4 for Adults 367FT AT 1000YDS
10x50 Powerful Full Size Binoculars BAK4 for Adults 367FT AT 1000YDS

$29.99
10d 15h 42m remaining

10x50 Full size Binoculars Outdoor Camping Hunting Telescope Bird Watching Strap
10x50 Full size Binoculars Outdoor Camping Hunting Telescope Bird Watching Strap

$36.99
3d 8h 56m remaining

Binoculars for Adults 10x42 Professional HD Binoculars Durable Full Size NEW
Binoculars for Adults 10x42 Professional HD Binoculars Durable Full Size NEW

$39.95
9d 13h 57m remaining

Astronom Day Night 12 40X80 Zoom Binoculars Full size Perrini
Astronom Day Night 12 40X80 Zoom Binoculars Full size Perrini

$63.99
8h 54m remaining

Day Night 180x100 Military Zoom Powerful Binoculars Optics Hunting Camping+Case
Day Night 180x100 Military Zoom Powerful Binoculars Optics Hunting Camping+Case

$35.99
6d 7h 39m remaining

10x50 Binoculars Northwest Optics Model BFP1050L Work with eyeglasses
10x50 Binoculars Northwest Optics Model BFP1050L Work with eyeglasses

$9.99
3d 14h 8m remaining

100x180 High Power Military Binoculars Day Night BAK4 Optics Hunting Camping+Bag
100x180 High Power Military Binoculars Day Night BAK4 Optics Hunting Camping+Bag

$35.99
28d 12h 17m remaining

Full Size100X180 Binoculars with Night Vision BAK4 Prism High Power Waterproof
Full Size100X180 Binoculars with Night Vision BAK4 Prism High Power Waterproof

$35.99
24d 20h 8m remaining

10X25 Binoculars with Night Vision BAK4 Prism High Power Waterproof
10X25 Binoculars with Night Vision BAK4 Prism High Power Waterproof

$28.89
23d 17h 31m remaining

100X180 Binoculars with Night Vision BAK4 Prism High Power Waterproof
100X180 Binoculars with Night Vision BAK4 Prism High Power Waterproof

$35.99
6d 17h 57m remaining

Vortex 12x50 Crossfire HD Binoculars CF 4314 With GlassPak Harness Case
Vortex 12x50 Crossfire HD Binoculars CF 4314 With GlassPak Harness Case

$179.00
4d 14h 25m remaining

Steiner 10x50 Military Marine Binoculars MM1050 Latest Tactical Model
Steiner 10x50 Military Marine Binoculars MM1050 Latest Tactical Model

$469.99
16d 5h 17m remaining



« Previous12345...89


Tagged with:

Filed under: Astronomy Binoculars