Full Size Binoculars

Help me to paint with words please.?

Thanx for looking.
I recently got an assignment to write an observing essay for my English course. Mine is about a bird. Please tell me if the intro is catchy Please

In a room with dimmed lights and large tinted windows I found a pair of binoculars, a row of benches and number of plaques with pictures. An odor of freshly opened bag of potatoe chips was filling the room as a little girl enjoyed her snack. Surprised and full of desire to tell others the girl said “Look, look mommy a bird” as she was looking outside through the window of the bird watching room. Outside, among standing tall green mature trees on a small grassy area, nearly twice the size of normal living room, in a nice calm weather birds she saw bird picking on fresh meal of their favorite seeds. Two waterfalls and three bird feeders make a heavenly environment for all creatures that enjoy fresh sip of water and a meal.

What were the pictures on the wall of? If not relevent, why mention them? I like the line about the potatoe chip odor. I think standing tall green mature trees is a bit too much, a little redundant, and too obvious. Of course the trees are standing and you expect them to be green. Maybe: Outside, the trees were tall and lush in their maturity. Not the best line, but better I think. A "small" grassy area wouldn't be twice the size of a normal living room would it? That whole sentence is too long and doesn't quite make sense. Maybe it should be seperated into two sentences. After the above sentence maybe: Their long limbs made a canopy for the birds to sit under and enjoy their favorite seeds.
Overall, it's okay, but it doesn't really make me see everything. I can see the girl when I read it, but not the beautiful outdoors, and not the birds. It needs a little tweaking ,and yes it needs something about how the birds look.

Good Luck!




Nikon Prostaff 3S Full Size Binoculars 10x42 New Free Shipping
Nikon Prostaff 3S Full Size Binoculars 10x42 New Free Shipping

$78.89
22d 19h 27m remaining

8 x 42 Full Size Binoculars BAK4 Outdoor Travel Camping Hunting Telescope + Bag
8 x 42 Full Size Binoculars BAK4 Outdoor Travel Camping Hunting Telescope + Bag

$39.99
5d 21m remaining

Nikon Monarch Binoculars eyepiece 8x42 10x42 Full Size
Nikon Monarch Binoculars eyepiece 8x42 10x42 Full Size

$33.65
1d 3h 2m remaining

Nikon Prostaff 3S Full Size Binoculars 10x42 New Free Shipping
Nikon Prostaff 3S Full Size Binoculars 10x42 New Free Shipping

$76.00
29d 7h 54m remaining

Holmar Super Full Size 7x50 Binoculars Field 71 Degrees with original case
Holmar Super Full Size 7x50 Binoculars Field 71 Degrees with original case

$15.00
9d 7h 10m remaining

SkyGenius 10 x 50 Powerful Full size Binoculars For Adults Durable Clear Binocu
SkyGenius 10 x 50 Powerful Full size Binoculars For Adults Durable Clear Binocu

$51.84
29d 1h 3m remaining

Barska 10 30x50mm Gladiator Zoom Binoculars Full Size Binoculars
Barska 10 30x50mm Gladiator Zoom Binoculars Full Size Binoculars

$42.06
6d 2h 22m remaining

Full Size 10 x 50 Binoculars Outdoor Travel Folding Telescope Bird Watching Bag
Full Size 10 x 50 Binoculars Outdoor Travel Folding Telescope Bird Watching Bag

$38.99
16d 23h 24m remaining

SkyGenius 10 x 50 Powerful Full Size Binoculars for Adults Durable Clear Binocu
SkyGenius 10 x 50 Powerful Full Size Binoculars for Adults Durable Clear Binocu

$35.90
1h 55m remaining

8x42 Full size Binoculars Sightseeing Hunting Watching Carrying Case Strap Lens
8x42 Full size Binoculars Sightseeing Hunting Watching Carrying Case Strap Lens

$17.76
13d 2h 2m remaining

New Zeiss Conquest Full Size Binoculars bird watching nature hunting sports
New Zeiss Conquest Full Size Binoculars bird watching nature hunting sports

$999.99
13d 21h 2m remaining

BinocularsFull SizeMarine NORTHWEST BFR0842
BinocularsFull SizeMarine NORTHWEST BFR0842

$66.99
23d 19h 10m remaining



« Previous12345...89


Tagged with:

Filed under: Astronomy Binoculars