Full Size Binoculars

Help me to paint with words please.?

Thanx for looking.
I recently got an assignment to write an observing essay for my English course. Mine is about a bird. Please tell me if the intro is catchy Please

In a room with dimmed lights and large tinted windows I found a pair of binoculars, a row of benches and number of plaques with pictures. An odor of freshly opened bag of potatoe chips was filling the room as a little girl enjoyed her snack. Surprised and full of desire to tell others the girl said “Look, look mommy a bird” as she was looking outside through the window of the bird watching room. Outside, among standing tall green mature trees on a small grassy area, nearly twice the size of normal living room, in a nice calm weather birds she saw bird picking on fresh meal of their favorite seeds. Two waterfalls and three bird feeders make a heavenly environment for all creatures that enjoy fresh sip of water and a meal.

What were the pictures on the wall of? If not relevent, why mention them? I like the line about the potatoe chip odor. I think standing tall green mature trees is a bit too much, a little redundant, and too obvious. Of course the trees are standing and you expect them to be green. Maybe: Outside, the trees were tall and lush in their maturity. Not the best line, but better I think. A "small" grassy area wouldn't be twice the size of a normal living room would it? That whole sentence is too long and doesn't quite make sense. Maybe it should be seperated into two sentences. After the above sentence maybe: Their long limbs made a canopy for the birds to sit under and enjoy their favorite seeds.
Overall, it's okay, but it doesn't really make me see everything. I can see the girl when I read it, but not the beautiful outdoors, and not the birds. It needs a little tweaking ,and yes it needs something about how the birds look.

Good Luck!




10x50 Full size Binoculars Outdoor Camping Hunting Telescope Bird Watching Strap
10x50 Full size Binoculars Outdoor Camping Hunting Telescope Bird Watching Strap

$36.99
6d 14h 44m remaining

Full Size 10 x 50 Binoculars Outdoor Travel Folding Telescope Bird Watching Bag
Full Size 10 x 50 Binoculars Outdoor Travel Folding Telescope Bird Watching Bag

$38.99
20d 14h 49m remaining

Day Night Prism Zoom Binoculars 10 120x90 lenses Full size
Day Night Prism Zoom Binoculars 10 120x90 lenses Full size

$57.99
24d 1h 56m remaining

8x42 Full size Binoculars For AdultsBAK4Green Lens Durable HD Clarity
8x42 Full size Binoculars For AdultsBAK4Green Lens Durable HD Clarity

$22.94
4h 41m remaining

8 x 42 Full Size Binoculars BAK4 Outdoor Travel Camping Hunting Telescope + Bag
8 x 42 Full Size Binoculars BAK4 Outdoor Travel Camping Hunting Telescope + Bag

$45.99
5d 15h 46m remaining

Black Military 7 x 35MM Full Size Zoom Binoculars with Case
Black Military 7 x 35MM Full Size Zoom Binoculars with Case

$34.99
23d 21h 22m remaining

TASCO 7 X 50 FULL SIZE FEATHER WEIGHT BINOCULARS MADE IN JAPAN REF I 51502
TASCO 7 X 50 FULL SIZE FEATHER WEIGHT BINOCULARS MADE IN JAPAN REF I 51502

$45.00
5d 18h 49m remaining

Day Night 180x100 Military Army Zoom Powerful Binoculars Optics
Day Night 180x100 Military Army Zoom Powerful Binoculars Optics

$32.99
5d 13h 27m remaining

10X50 Binoculars Glimmer Night Vision Rangefinder Compass Waterproof BAK4 Prism
10X50 Binoculars Glimmer Night Vision Rangefinder Compass Waterproof BAK4 Prism

$77.96
8d 12h 58m remaining

Day Night prism 10 120x90 Zoom Binoculars Hunting Camping CAMO
Day Night prism 10 120x90 Zoom Binoculars Hunting Camping CAMO

$59.99
25d 55m remaining

Bushnell 175010C PermaFocus 10x50 Porro Binoculars Black Clam
Bushnell 175010C PermaFocus 10x50 Porro Binoculars Black Clam

$49.95
17d 15h 56m remaining

Day 60x50 Military Army Zoom Powerful Binoculars Optics Hunting Camping BP
Day 60x50 Military Army Zoom Powerful Binoculars Optics Hunting Camping BP

$19.85
30d 11h 51m remaining



« Previous12345...89


Tagged with:

Filed under: Astronomy Binoculars